Tuesday, May 22, 2012
For me, a relapse comes as a form of aftermath. Sometimes it lasts days, sometimes a week or more, but it always happens after a big event or sequence of events that take me pushing through multitudes of stress and fake smiles until I collapse. Usually I don't feel it until I get home and start to relax and wind down and then my body crumbles into a heap of crippling pain. The neurological symptoms of this disease are life altering and disabling. My legs crumble and shake with fatigue, and I lose track of how to lift one leg up enough to step forward. Usually I end up just falling forward as my knees buckle and bend beneath me. Sometimes it is first thing in the morning before I even know that I can't walk, and usually I end up hitting my shoulder, head, or side on some object, be it furniture or a book on the floor. After navigating the house many times, weaving through laundry baskets and doorways to reach my destination, I have gotten pretty good at maneuvering a wheelchair from point to point. Some sufferers, especially those with Picc lines, have a harder time moving around than others. The stores I have been in have had very inadequate handicap facilities and I'm determined to go on a crusade and raise the awareness of it. A store owner should be able to maneuver through his entire store, bathrooms, doors, even work room where employees are, in order to call it accessible. I've seen bathrooms that my mom cannot get into easily, forget a wheelchair and a second person. It's messy and difficult and a challenge. This reminds me that I'm not normal, no where near it, but I'm okay with it because one day I will make it so other's can at least feel closer to being normal. It's hard to be in a wheelchair, and harder to feel so dependent on the spaces around you. You find yourself saying 'Well I can't stop to eat there or there because I can't get into their bathrooms', which is a sad thing. People should not govern their decision because of the accessibility in an 'accessible' place. If it's not friendly to the handicap, then it shouldn't be friendly for the well. For this reason I am going to start a blog website for handicap accessibility. I'm going to post pictures and descriptions of all the many places labelled accessible and how amazingly difficult they are to navigate. I hope to get a lot of support on this because one day I would love to take it to the legal level and pursue laws and restructuring of the 'accessibility' definition! I'll post more when I do find the patience to pursue that path.