Monday, February 20, 2012
Four is not my lucky number I guess. Today has been a terrible day. My fingers are taped to Popsicle sticks, and work was painfully busy. I was in so much pain all day that it wore me down to the bone. I couldn't fight off the cold temperature when I stepped outside to walk to my car, and I just wanted to sleep the entire drive home. I'm suffering such a bad spout of depression right now. I don't feel this way all the time, and sometimes I want to cry but can just keep working through it, like when I working ski check and have something else to think about or when I'm at CAP and vulnerability is not an option. I can't be an emotional mess in this world. I have things to get done. But right now I'm officially the dictionary definition of mess. It's so hard to sit here with tears streaming down my face and think of how I'm supposed to describe what I feel like right now, what's going through my mind right now. I really don't think I can, or that I should have to. I'm highly discouraged, and my body has run out of available energy to draw from for optimism. We all reach this point, now it's my time to fight through it and overcome it with the amazing friends I have.