Thursday, February 23, 2012
It's the final day of the seven day challenge. Today has shown me that seven days just isn't enough to get inside anyone's head. I have found that blogging everyday is challenging yet rewarding. Its therapeutic almost like journalism. I need to be using this website to not only keep my family and friends up to date on my recovery, but to show other people with chronic illnesses or handicaps that I will get better and it's okay to have bad days. We all learn lessons from mistakes and problems we encounter in our lives. If I can share my lessons with others, maybe they won't take the three strike rule to realize they need to listen. One lesson I realized today was I have no ability to pace myself. I push way too hard, and I don't know how to say no. When I think I feel better, I say yes to everything, fill up my schedule, and forget that I should take at least six months of symptom free days before I take on more than two activities. Then, just like before, I am declining health wise and stuck in a snowball effect of promises and responsibilities that I can't maintain. It's more efficient time wise to make a limit. Two activities is a safe bet, because you can pick a mandatory one that will effect your future, and a fun one that will give you purpose and enjoyment in life. For example, school work and a sport, or work and volunteering. Life is all about balance, and Lyme patients have to have even more balance than they believe they need. Balancing diet, physical activity, stressors, responsibility, and relaxation is mandatory. I am in the process of redesigning my life so I can take a step back and balance everything again. Today I couldn't even attend Civil Air Patrol because I woke up this morning on my one day of the week off from work and couldn't move from bed. My mom brought my a small lunch and my IV Nurse changed my dressing in bed. When I moved at 3:30 pm I was so dizzy and nauseas from napping that I cancelled the nights plans, and went right back to bed. Sometimes I just wish I had someone to sit with me and pet my head, or listen to me complain when I'm miserable. Not give me advice or motherly comfort, but that's okay sometimes too. The point is that there is a time for both, just like there is a time to be proactive and there is a time to be reactive. I have made choices that I now have to be reactive to, but next time I will be proactive and control my choices. If I could give major advice to any sufferer of any road block anywhere, it wouldn't be to keep your chin up, because sometimes the sun will get in your eyes, it would be to be proactive, and put on those sunglasses before you put your chin up so the sun will not affect you as much.