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Thursday, March 27, 2014

Getting My Ducks In A Row

I've had a lot of time to think lately. I spent the first week of my three week wait figuring out logistics of my recovery period. I had to let my friends, family, coworkers, and teachers know about the upcoming surgery to make sure any accommodations I need will be ready. I managed to get one of my two night classes to administer a written essay as the final, before my surgery so my last day in that class will be tonight. The other class I am doing the midterm on Friday for, and will be doing the final (which was a write up anyways) in the series of five essays on U.S. History and mailing it in to the school as soon as I've recovered enough to complete the assignment. These were both extremely understandable options as I know I will be missing about half the semester and still need to learn something from these courses to earn my diploma. The graduation will most likely be around June 6th, and I prepare for that moment mentally by picturing all the accomplishments I have done over the years. This is just another small road bump in the course of finishing my High School Career. The next thing I figured out was my work position. Being that I was around the many germs going around this flu season, I received a doctor's note saying I could not work the rest of the season at the ski resort like I wished I could. I attended my last day of work two weeks ago now, and have been thinking of how drastically my employment has been affected by Lyme over the years. Instead of throwing in the towel, I fought my hardest to attend a few short shifts a week to get me out and about, with special accommodations, always ending the season early for pushing myself too much and worsening my condition. I was convinced by everyone I know that because my employment was so drastically affected, I should apply for state help. I went through the hours and hours of applying for disability, SSI, food stamps, APTD, and every other program I could find. Already within just two weeks I had my SSI, and DHHS interviews where I was denied for pretty much every possible thing. I will know within 6 months if I get any help with disability, SSI for children of Disabled, or APTD. Apparently there is another form of state medicaid passed through the senate this week, that is waiting for the Governor's signature. That will open up the doorway for medical coverage for me, which is a huge deal. The next duck I had to line up was preparation with Planet Fitness. I thought I was going to be paying a few months for a membership I couldn't afford, yet I asked if there was anything they could do. With a simple doctors note they were able to suspend the membership from April until June so I can have that stress reduced. In all the planning and over thinking I've done I forgot the most important step. I forgot to remember how important it is to not plan or over think. Stressing myself out before a major surgery will only kill my immune system and affect my recovery time. I have stopped work, my last class is tomorrow, I don't plan to leave the house for more than my last trip to see the horses I've been working with to keep me sane. I am prepared for the Tuesday procedure, the extensive scrub the night before, the two hour trip to the hospital, the hours of prepping and the months of recovery. I am terrified, but I am ready.


  1. Elaina, I am praying that the Lord will give you HIS peace - the peace that passes all understanding.

    When the day is finally done and you have done all that YOU can do, place the rest into God's care. We know that He is faithful and good and that He knows our deepest fears and worries. I pray that He will fill you with His peace and make His presence known to you in these last few stressful days. I pray that God will guide the surgeon's hand and complete a successful removal of the tumors.

    I will be thinking about you and praying for you.

    ~ Jon G.

    "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Phillipian's 4:4-7

  2. Dear Elaina,

    You remind me a bit of myself -- hoping for the best and preparing for the unknown as much as humanly possible. Sometimes keeping busy with planning and preparations can actually help to relieve stress, and I'm hoping this has been the case for you lately.

    In any case, we all do the best we can to cope in difficult and stressful situations -- and major surgery definitely qualifies.

    Here's hoping that everything goes as smoothly as possible with your surgery prep, the long drive to the hospital, the surgery itself and your recovery.

    I'll be thinking of you and sending healing vibes all the way from Toronto.

    Take care,


  3. God be with you. We are praying for you and awaiting the good news!


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