My First Job and Civil Air Patrol

Since my last post, I have attended my First Job's Orientation day which started at 8:30 AM and went until 3 PM. I had so much fun meeting my coworkers and touring Gunstock Ski Area. I have no doubt I'm ready for this job and excited to see what will prevail from it. I have about three six-hour shifts a week, Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday evenings and that even gives me a day in between to rest and heal. One day I even work inside! And on top of everything, I get a season's ski pass for free, meaning I can ski and race this year. Gunstock should open on the 17th, or maybe even sooner and I'm excited to see how my first day goes. Time to buckle up and meet new people!

Also, I have attended my first two Civil Air Patrol Meetings. CAP is a youth volunteer auxiliary of the Air Force, and they meet every Thursday night. One of these two meetings was there annual holiday party which I attended tonight. There is two other girls in my wing, though I've only met one so far, and she is really nice. The other boys I'm familiar with through my brother's experiences with the CAP for his 4 years of service. He was promoted to Major tonight, a huge accomplishment as he moves on from this specific Wing to bigger and better things with college, and I admire him greatly. He is certainly my role model as I take on the responsibility to rank as fast as possible and catch up to him. My goal with joining the CAP is to concentrate on it's accomplishments and join the Air Guard as I'm graduating High School as a Physical Therapist and get my college paid for in full as well as medical insurance. Time to dream again, and it feels like I'm flying.

Moving Forward

Last Monday I got the clear from my Lyme Doctor and Tailbone Surgeon to move forward with my life. I got a job at Gunstock Ski area and will be starting in mid December. My first orientation is tomorrow! I finished Driver's Education and got my green slip last Tuesday, will be getting my license before my job begins. I started catching back up on World History and Earth Science work i was stuck on, almost completely finishing World History in two days, with higher than stellar marks. I've met a few friends along the way and started hanging out more with the people in my life, including overcoming a break up which was very emotionally challenging. Sickness can mask many feelings that a couple knows should be dealt with, but instead find it easier to just ignore. That was only one small thing I discovered about my new found health. Just last night I went to the Civil Air Patrol wing near me, and decided to join. Civil Air Patrol is a youth volunteer auxiliary of the Air Force and will lead me to being a part of Emergency Services and enlisting when I graduate High School into the Air Guard. I actually auditioned for a school wide talent show with my guitar and voice and made it, so I will be playing in front of the entire school, staff, and any parents or additional on lookers. I am so excited to be branching out to the world and exercising again. I feel alive and free, and at the same time I'm trying to hold myself back so I don't overdo myself because I'm still on the Picc line for my sixth month and coartem for my third month. I could at any point encounter a relapse, but a good friend of mine once said: "The secret to having it all is believing that you already do." (Jill Russel). I Believe I have all the health I need to make it the rest of my life satisfied, but the best part of being a teenager is actually being a teenager, so I'm eager to embrace this era.

ILADS Conference and Finally Coinfection treatment that works!

One of my newer med.s I have been started on is Coartem, a prescription Artemesia product which you take 3 days out of the month to fight Bartonella. My Bart symptoms are noticeably worsened including air hunger, swollen feet, fatigue, and more after taking the Coartem for about a week. I am close to taking my third monthly round of Coartem and prepared to start detoxing the dead bugs intensely. Another new medicine that I was started on was Tindamax. When my LLMD (Lyme Literate Medical Doctor) went to the International Lyme and Associated Disease conference in Canada he learned a lot about pulsing the Tindamax to treat Babesia much like The IV Rocephin for Lyme. You take high doses 3 days a week and detox the other 4 days giving the bugs a hit and run chance. The minute they run they get hit again and after much cleaning and detoxing we can eliminate the bugs and their harmful toxins from the body. Aside from Tindamax he doubled my Rifampin which is a huge hit to the body and turns urine a deep orange color, and I actually believe that after all these things were added and increased I've started either having Gall Bladder or Spleen pain that's not pinpoint able.

A Plus side to the conference is my Vermont LLMD Spoke and showed one of my videos from an episode I had with prominent speech issues and tremors. So without knowing it, I'm famous :) Thousands of doctors got to learn from the mistakes of 10 illiterate ones.

Recovery from Surgery NOT as Expected

When I arrived for surgery I was scheduled to be rolled into the OR at 4 PM. I Wasn't actually rolled in until about 5:15 PM due to a delay of doctor communication. Basically my PCP never sent over the note that she physically examined me and cleared me for surgery. By now we are very used to the mishaps between doctors and their disorganization.

The surgery went well. Final report was that the bone was fairly long and sharp and was twisting instead of curving causing extreme as I re-injured it endlessly by sitting, snowboarding, skiing, horseback riding, etc. As this was probably a genetic defect in the Coccyx itself , It was definitely nothing any other doctor could have helped and it was time for it to be removed and the area to properly heal. The procedure caused excess bleeding, more then normal, from inflammation of either the Lyme bacteria in the injured area or the tailbone injuring it continuously, but basically it bled a lot.

After the procedure I was in so much pain I didn't even want them to bring my mom in but I was rolling onto my stomach screaming as soon as I woke up from anesthesia. We stayed for 3 days with no answer for the pain and I fought the grueling hour and a half ride home from Lebanon in pain. Then I suffered through days on 6 mg of Hydromorphone (stronger then Morphine, 4mg is maximum recommended dose). Finally we took me off of Hydromorphone and raised my Ibuprofen level since its an anti inflammatory and I usually take 800 mg anyways. That was what made the most difference. I took Tylenol Cod #2 at night to get me through and faught the days until now, 3 weeks out, I have equal amount of pain as I suffered with for 2 grueling years before surgery. I am back in the driver's seat, preparing for the upcoming ski season, going for walks to begin to build my stamina slowly. Everything is falling into place with the tailbone recovery, now we just have to finish the rest of my recovery process.

Surgery # ? (Coccygectomy)

I have been chasing the doctors in circles about my chronic tailbone pain, trying to get answers. Multiple times I've posted on this blog about it. Literally, a pain in the butt. Finally, we saw an amazing orthopedic specialist through Dartmouth in Lebanon, NH called Dr. Bernini who has told me I am a good candidate for a Coccygectomy or tail bone removal. He said that a normal person has a sacrum of fused bones and at the bottom a flexible coccyx of 3-5 bones, but mine is only two stiff bones very near the skin causing coccydenia (coccyx pain or tailbone pain). We asked if it was a degenerative feature because my mother ad her mother also had coccygectomys for coccydenia. He replied that only the Maharaj's in India were known to have long coccyx as a sign of royalty.

So, on October 18th I will go in for my surgery and get my tailbone cut open for the second time and go under anesthesia for the millionth time in hopes to be part of the 90% whose pain was eliminated with such surgeries. It should be a couple weeks of recovery and hopefully not a rough first few days. Deep breath, maybe I'll finally be able to horseback ride comfortably.

Walk Before You Run

As I start to feel better every month I am tempted to increase my activity level. After all, its healthy to be out and moving right? Well, I notice more crumby days then great, and I can tell I need to slow down. Even though (as long as I avoid fluorescent) the speech and walking isn't my main issue, I still have vertigo, fatigue, sleep problems, stomach pain, and achy joints. These are enough to keep me in bed on a bad day.

Its often seen that people who start to feel better want to act it and reach out to their previous activities including staying up late, avoiding naps, splurging from a diet, doing activities that are too strenuous like moving furniture, standing for half the day or the whole day, walking more then a mile straight, shopping under that terrible lighting for long periods of time, and forgetting their medicines. These are just things that send you right back downhill twice as hard. I know someone who was sick with Lyme for only a year and even though he felt better after a few months of treatment he still didn't resume to his regular activities until a full year later. Because he gave his body that much time to heal, he still to this day, 3 years later, has not had a single symptom and is resumed to being a star alpine ski racer and coaching his kids.

It's important to be patient at this stage, no matter how much you miss life or think you can handle it. Get little cheer people in on your plan to stay in bed for a month or two and to stay on the sidelines another few months, that way you have more than will power holding you back.

Missing Life

There are times where being chronically ill just gets old. Now is one of those times. When I started to feel better last year I was so happy and thrilled. I started making friends again, and keeping up with them by texting constantly. I attended rock concerts and even labeled myself as a booking agent and hooked bands up with each other, attending weekly shows sometimes. I kept busy throughout the summer and joined an outdoor program where I hiked many key New Hampshire spots like Cannon Mountain, The Flume, Artist Bluff, Franconia Falls, Waterville Valley, and Lafayette Mountain. We visited beaches like Wellington State Park and Hampton Beach where I had endless energy swimming and playing football and volleyball. That is where I spent almost all my time talking and hanging with friends, and then met my boyfriend Tyler. School started and with a busy homework load and crazy schedule I decided to push it a few steps further. Along with joining student council and picking up horseback riding I added a daily running regimen to the plate and on weekends attended my beau's football games. When winter rolled around I joined the Alpine Ski Team and pushed myself as hard as I could as I felt the ground beneath me collapsing. That's when I went down hill again, pushing myself overboard and stressing myself over the edge of a cliff. Now, 10 months later, I wish I could live it all again. I spent this entire past summer in a wheelchair, attending therapy and being left out by friends, unable to enjoy even a nice dip in the pool because of my Picc line. It is hard to go back ten steps, but even harder to go forward 10 steps and back ten leaps! It's almost a feeling like I've been taunted by health, and now I'm forced to suffer in a bath of 'patience'. I sit in bed and hope, pray, and wish for the life I miss to return, even if it's not the same as it was before, I still would like to introduce myself to someone without Lyme hanging over my head. To be normal is to be free, but currently I'm a caged bird with clipped wings.

New Therapy Pet

The day I went in to the hospital to have my first dose of the Invanz, we saw a sign on the way home. It read free Main Coon Kittens and we turned around to go back. My mom's always wanted a Maine Coon cat and I've wanted a chinchilla since my Hamster died a month ago. This would be better and cheaper then a Chinchilla.   We discovered it was a litter of 2 boys and 2 girls, pure bred, Maine Coon kittens. I fell in love immediately with the first female, the other female was the runt, and I took her into my arms naming her Pippin. She was docile and soft and so loving to me. The first day and night she slept, and then she woke up. Shes been exploring and jumping and playing and keeping me up at night since. I'm allergic to cats but not bad, but this one sleeps right near my head and aggravates my allergies. There's no way I'm returning her, shes mine and I love her, so I will suffer through to keep her with lack of sleep and headaches and a stuffy nose. As she gets bigger I will brush her daily and get her spayed and declawed. Shes already treated for fleas and ticks and I'm keeping her indoors so I'll put a Hepa filter in my room and change my sheets weekly and ask my PCP for some more Nasonex. This is a very sweet kitten, and such good therapy to have something to baby.

Detoxing Madness

I've found that detoxing is as important as treating with this disease. I do a few things recently:

In the morning I make a drink and combine a few different steps by putting magnesium/calcium powder which fizzes and dissolves, flavored (to flavor of choice) Vitamin C 1,000 to 5,000 (1-5 packets) mg powder packet, 13 drops of Liver Life, 10 Drops of Burbur for kidneys, and drink it with a straw.

After lunch I prepare a cold Green Tea drink, one to two tea bags to a small amount of hot water, add some honey, let steep for 2 or 3 minutes. Then add cold water and ice cubes and make sure to drink at least 32 oz. a day. I drink this while I soak my feet in a hot 'lavender' Epsom salt foot bath for 30 minutes. You only need about a cup of salt to a 2 or 3 Gallon foot bath.

In the late afternoon I add 10 more drops of Burbur, 13 drops of liver life, and every 3 days I add 10 drops of Algas for metal detoxing to regular water. I'm about to start Pinelli for brain cleansing, which will be added with Burbur and Liver life. Also Red Root is for Lymphatic drainage, I will be drinking that with the other tinctures soon, but I'm starting one at a time slowly because I'm aware that some people respond differently to detoxing and can herx pretty bad.

With all this detoxing I'm laying on the biomat half pad a few times a week too. That is a heat and amethyst pad that works great for Lyme and relaxation. I lay on it for about an hour in the peace and quiet.

I have a good schedule going and I'm glad for it.

Switch of Infusion Antibiotic

My last Lyme appointment went really well, we decided there was notable improvement but we also decided, thanks to insurance coverage reasons, that I should start an every day infusion of the next level up. It's in the same family as Rocephin but it's a bit more powerful and expensive. The Insurance company approved this with the thought that I would get better with this final punch but we are unsure how the approval of the next month of med.s will go. I believe its called Invanz. Since switching, which I believe its been less than a week, I have been super tired. I've had headaches, I'm just really under the weather. I was told I need to keep on the diet 100% and I haven't been able to yet but I need to. I've been doing major detoxing which I will talk about in another post, and hoping that would help with the switch. Currently I'm trying to be patient and see if we can get me back to running and skiing.

Probiotic Protection

It is really important as a Lyme person or anyone else have stomach changes or irregular pain to know that Probiotics make a big difference. Every brand, every type, every dose can be different. I took a Probiotic called PB8 that was 8 billion units and still I needed to take 3 or 4 every night at least an hour away from antibiotics. We switched that brand to another one of a higher unit from Puritan's Pride and they did not work for me.

I started having symptoms of Candida Overgrowth AKA Internal Yeast Infection. It was a mess. This was back in April. More recently I have been taking a refrigerated 85 billion unit one called Raw Probiotic. This has helped my stomach tremendously, especially since I have irregular bowel movements thanks to the IV antibiotics, which are tough on the stomach. My pain level in my stomach has minimized and I have reduced nausea most of the time.

I went for a week where I hadn't taken Probiotics because I was out of them and they needed to be ordered (expensive little boogers). My stomach got so mad and the pain was incredible. Lets just say the pain was unique and there was so much nausea and vomiting, even more burping.

I now have been told to take more then one type of Probiotic and switch it up to keep the body's resistance down and keep the stomach healthy. I take both RawProbiotics and PB8 back and forth and at the same time. Probiotics definitely protect and its important to invest in them and keep on top of them.  If you forget them, then forget your stomach ever being normal again.

Remembering my Memory

I just realized today for the first time in months that I remember what I did for my 16th birthday. I remember going out the Sunday before my sweet 16, and seeing Pirates of the Carribean 4, the plot of the movie with how shockingly good it was, even getting Jordans ice cream sometime in there, and eating at Friendlys. Tyler was away on senior trip, and the Lakes Region Health Fair was the day before (when Jake, Elisabeth, Ian, and Kaity showed up to see me). All the memories are falling into place where they belong, and the wall in front of them is slowly breaking down. On the third week of Rocephin, I already see miracles happening. I'm walking and talking normally, thinking fairly clearly, sleeping a bit better, and remembering again! Praise God, and hopes that I will only get better from here on out.

Trying a New Oral Contraceptive

The last birth control I was on was for the ovarian cysts. This time around we are trying a contraceptive called Seasonique which stops the cycle and would treat the symptoms and pain of endometriosis. Hopefully this will work better than the last one. My ultrasounds have all been clear and not found any evidence of cysts since the initial cyst and surgery. We just are at the last rope and thinking maybe some endometrio cells escaped from the surgery or maybe the Lyme has caused my womanly parts to form endometriosis from all the inflammation and cysts. Therefor I would have pain all the time like I do, and some cysts like I have had, and a contraceptive that stops the cycle for 3 months should help. Now its just a waiting game to see if it works.

Picc Pain Passed

Its the third week of Rocephin treatments now. I notice no improvement other than the pain I had shooting down my elbow from the Picc procedure has diminished. It started getting better after 5 days of heat packs and ibuprofen. I'm much more comfortable with moving and using the arm now, and even sleeping on it. Though it took me 2 weeks to get a real shower and the wrapping it up process was not fun, I have adjusted. My mom does the IV treatments every 12 hours for 4 days a week. Shes comfortable with keeping it clean and we are careful not to get the tip dirty. We have a fold up light weight side table or TV tray that we cover with the medical sheet and use for our treatment area. When the weekly VNA (visiting Nurse) comes to change the bandage she likes to have an area to set up shop. We noticed problems with the little blue line kinking because the butterfly was not up high enough to keep it straight, and therefor I had troubles with the IV treatment for a week, but she fixed it so it doesn't kink and I can do things while getting my treatment. Having the Picc in is not the end of the world, its a challenge to not get it wet in the middle of the summer but it is manageable. Now I'm just trying to do visualizations and rest enough to let the medicine do its job.

Picc Line

I have been waiting for IV Rocephin for a long time, with that gut feeling that it would be the magical treatment. My Lyme literate doctor in the state finally started the Picc process and the Lyme Specialist in Vermont sped everything up.

Last Saturday I had my horse show, which was great until I got so tired that I don't even remember the end of the show, going home, or the whole battle with my eyes rolling back in my head and yet again being unable to talk or breath.

Monday I showed up at 9am at Concord Hospital for my Picc Line procedure. It started by wheeling me into the room (I couldn't walk again), changing into a johnny and preparing for the procedure. The whole procedure went like this: Sterilize ten times over, numbing shot which stung quite a bit and didn't even seem to work, going into a vein and stretching it out to find out that one wasn't going to work, going in for a second time and stretching it out which was the worst part of the whole procedure and I was lucky enough to get it twice in one arm, getting it in but it being coiled and not going down towards the heart, first exray: not in far enough, second exray: in too far, pull out 3 cm, third exray: PERFECT! Well it took long enough. 3 Hours and a sore jaw later I relaxed my tight muscles to feel the swelling and aching pain in my arm. I went straight home to put a heat pack on it and take ibuprofen and Tylenol which worked great. Then I was off to the Occupational Therapist who informed me I couldn't be treated until we had clearance from my doctor. The rest of the day I spent thinking about the painful procedure. It did not go as planned or expected and I would hate for someone else to not be aware that the 'little pinch' most people describe might not be the glorious silver lining you receive. What a tiring procedure.

I will receive 2 gm of IV Rocephin for about 30 minutes twice a day, for four days a week. This means every 12 hours (8 am and 8 pm) my mom will alcohol swab, flush with saline, swab again, attach antibiotics, swab again, flush again, and then we are done. Also once a week I will have to get blood drawn and have a nurse change the dressing to keep it clean and dry. That will probably be the one day I wrap it with saran wrap and tape to take a very delicate shower.

So hopefully this works, because if not this is quite the process and struggle. Off to try to upload videos on my you tube account from the horse show and my experiences with the tremors. Hope all other Lymies are getting well and resting up.

Hospitals From Hell

We got to Concord ER where they rushed me into a trauma room and arranged for me to get an IV from an EMT student. They ordered a head CT and the basics of blood tests and urine tests to make sure I wasn't drugged or prego. Even though you can give emergency room doctors the best reasons why there is no chance of you being on drugs they still have to check as it is standard protocol. Once they decided all my tests were clear and they didn't know what to do with me they fed me terrible cafeteria food and ordered an ambulance to transport me to Boston Children's Hospital since we were 100% sure that Dartmouth did not believe in Chronic forms of Lyme Disease. I don't remember the ambulance ride aside from singing 'Take Me Out To The Ball Game' as we passed Fenway Park in Boston. Once I got there we got settled into a crumby ER room and waited for 7 hours just to talk to one neurologist and fail the neurology test miserably. Then they hospitalized me upstairs and we got settled in for bed at 4:30 AM on Sunday. After a few hours of sleep we heard from a few doctors and got blood drawn but I was already feeling a tad bit better. They took me off all my medications with the theory that 'Not even the best pharmacist can tell if 25 medications are colliding or not, they can only tell if one messes with one, not the entire webbing network of my 26 including over the counter medications and supplements'. They also changed their minds and didn't run the lumbar puncture (lp) or spinal tap, and the MRI they wanted to run. Simply, I had improved a tad bit so it must not be neurological.

On Monday I woke up feeling much better, did some physical therapy and walked down to the Boston Children's Garden, and I spoke with a psychiatrist who labeled me as over bubbly (which for the record is an extreme compliment and he did not even realize it). I did an OT evaluation which determined OT would be helpful but never fell through. I introduced myself to my neighbor/room mate who had a lot of stomach pain that brought her to the hospital and was given the same excuse that her body was over stressed and wired wrong, and there was no actual reason for her pain. That night we were told I'd be going home Tuesday afternoon and my room mate moved rooms so we had a private suite for the last night. I was woken up by a neurologist at 7:30 AM, who decided that since my neurological exam first thing in the morning, before I could even see straight, was perfectly fine I was okay. All I can say is that is the most ridiculous excuse ever. They had a large meeting with my entire team of doctors that all shared and discussed theories of me being over stressed and wired wrong and crazy, thankfully which I was not present for. Then we waited a few hours to be released and 'yessed' them to death so we could get the heck out of this place that believed that I never had Lyme and was treated incorrectly by the only doctors that ever really listened to me.

We got home at 9:30 PM on Tuesday and I crashed into my comfy bed, thankful for no IV in my arm and no people prodding me all night. From here we would just push forward and try to see if maybe the medicine theory could be right, or maybe the stress theory was close to correct. For now we just would wait and see.

Roller Coaster Ride

So to sum up the past few weeks here is the sequence of events:

After the Monday I awoke walking, I had 5 really good days (which I don't remember I must add). The Friday of that week I went to my brother's graduation and spoke with a reporter from the newspaper and shocked everyone with my ability to walk. That night I started to feel really tired, and I splurged on some cake and ice cream, which led to stomach pain. I crashed into bed that night feeling so tired I didn't even want to breathe anymore.

Saturday I woke up and pushed through enjoying my family's company from Georgia. I had not seen my grandfather in years and I was anxious to enjoy the last day of his company feeling well. That afternoon the head shaking and Canadian/German accent started coming back, and plagued me the rest of the evening (I must add yet again, I don't remember any of my visit with my Grandfather now. I guess 'Lyme Brain' is a more serious term than I imagined). So that evening my mom dragged me back and forth to the bathroom and  force fed me Gluten Free tacos, which aren't actually that bad, but I prefer the real stuff.

That set the pace for the next week. I woke up, felt fine, spoke with my usual Yankee American accent. I ate Gluten/Casein free breakfast and sometimes even lunch with my righteous pill meals before the shaking and voice changes came back. The worst part of the week was that I could get through hours of schoolwork with the clarity of the AM, and end my day completely near unconscious.

Physical Therapy witnessed a lot of great improvement. It was amazing how fast my improvement could backslide in just 15 minutes. I visited my GI (stomach) specialist who shared a definitive positive Casein allergy, deciding that I can't even have lactose free milk, only soy or nut products.

Friday, June 17, 2011- A long day led to my boyfriend's graduation (which, let me add for safe measure, I also, sadly, cannot remember). I got home from the graduation and collapsed into bed. I don't even remember  what happened but I'm told I collapsed face down and couldn't even talk clearly. The next morning I was fine until after breakfast. I was back in the wheelchair and barely managed to brush my teeth before collapsing onto my lap unable to even hold my head up and mumbling to everyone. My mom decided finally it was time for a visit to the ER to double check and rule out other serious things that could be causing the neuropathy.
( To be continued in 'Hospitals From Hell')

New Diet

The Doctor prescribed a Gluten/Casein Free diet on top of my Lactose/Caffeine free diet. Gluten is a protein in wheat products (wheat, rye, oats, barley), commonly avoided in Celiac Disease. There is a small selection of Gluten- free made products, treated for the Gluten, such as Pita breads, Organic salsas and dips and ranches, specific chips and breakfast foods, etc. There are also a few foods without gluten that can be consumed with careful attention to the Nutrition label (yeah, remember where that is? That little hope killer on the back of packages....).  Corn chips have no gluten or wheat products, neither do meats, and most dairy products. If you are taking just a gluten free diet than you have still a fairly wide variety of substitutes, etc. Casein is a product for preservation of dairy products. It is in all dairy products, unless they are specially labeled otherwise or labeled for vegan use. Casein is a broader spectrum to avoid then Lactose, and can be labeled as a 'caseinate' or 'milk protein'. Its often avoided with gluten free diets in Lyme or Autism. Lactose is sugar naturally found in milk and dairy products. These products can be treated for the lactose and therefor called 'lactose free' and there are special ice creams and milks and even cheeses for this purpose, but mostly you can drink soy and almond milks as in a casein free diet. Lactose is commonly avoided in lactose intolerance or lactase deficiency, where the body cant break down the sugar. That can usually be taken care with a 'lactose' pill that substitutes the ability to break it down in the intestine track. Caffeine is a preservative and chemical put into most soda and tea products that gives you energy and some flavor. Caffeine along with Casein, and Gluten are very inflammatory foods for the digestive system, and can be feeding the Lyme Disease and giving it fuel to fire. Caffeine is not in most lemonades, orange sodas, caffeine free sodas, or caffeine free teas. Be careful to avoid this disgusting toxin as well as fake sugars in candy and gum (or artificial sweeteners in some bottled drinks and juices) Diets can seriously improve treatment of many diseases, even cancer, and can increase overall health and energy. I hope you appreciate the information! :)

A Miracle For Inspiration

On Monday, June 6, I awoke to a miracle. The clearest mind in a long time led to a discovery, I could control my legs. It wasn't diet, or new medicines, or anything really other than God's grace and the almighty power of prayer that put me on my feet again. One leg still pushes inwards and causes a limp with some knee pain, and after a few days of walking and exercising and shocked witnesses of my amazing improvement, my calves are incredibly sore. My physical therapist and everyone else I've crossed is amazed, and I came across one woman today whom I met in the waiting room at therapy. She got a brain injury while riding a four wheeler and went from EMT to dependent on God's strength to get her by. This 40 year old lady informed me today that if not for me, she wouldn't be working so hard to still complete her physical therapy and improve and progress from her brain injury. This was so awesome to me, a tear filled woman who was struggling day by day, inspired from a unique 16 year old disabled suddenly by Lyme and raised back up by the Lord's hand only. If there is anything that this past month of hell and depression, weakness and trial, suffering and disappointment would be worthwhile for, it would be the inspiration of one kind, lost soul, on her way back up a mountain of deceit, and using me for her motivation. I couldn't ask for more, and if nothing else comes from this past month I have embraced, I will be okay with just that one thought.

New Specialist in Vermont

Friday was the end all, be all. I had been suffering from autism-like symptoms for just days, since the Saturday before. Yet still I was bad enough, pacing in my wheelchair, screaming at the ceiling, talking a million miles per hour, and sometimes not even making sense with my mumbling, to the point of keeping myself up at night, that a doctor in west Vermont was willing to fit me in his busy schedule that week. After hopeful calls to Dr. J in Connecticut, the world's only pediatric Lyme specialist, we got a hold of the doc. himself and he said his practice    was closed to new patients but he recommended the doctor in Vermont who was familiar with Autism and Lyme. He fit us in around lunch time Friday and it was a hectic 3 1/2 hour car ride there. The whole time I chattered and screamed out the window and I don't even remember the trip. Talk about a long car ride, I'm sure both my parents and my boyfriend Tyler were ready to leave me in Vermont. The Doctor saw me throughout the 2 hours in his office and prescribed the step we are going to take before we try IV Rocephin treatment. I was prescribed anti fungals short term, anti inflammatorys for my brain, a medicine in the same family of Rocephin called Onnicef,  along with Zithromax and Plaquenil, even B supplements. I am also on a Gluten Free, Casein free, Caffeine Free, low Sugar diet, see post about New Diet. This should be a fun trip and the hope is to reduce neurological inflammation and increase my energy levels.

Another Month

Overdone, tired, shaken, and stirred, my body has made it another month. I've pushed through to do certain activities, still in the wheelchair with no leg strength, and have just increasingly worsened. Last weekend was the Lyme Conference for our support group, the only in our area, and many doctors and sick and even healthy people came to help and learn together. I made buttons for the support group, rounding up a few helpless souls, whom all regretted the process, to assist me with the tedious task. It was back breaking work, and really wore me out. Even our goal of 500 was not met, we skimmed by to 300 buttons. The conference had a long day, and by the end, I was hauled out of their shaking really bad. Pushing it yet again so hard was what threw me over the edge again. That night I started autism like symptoms, so bad I can barely type this update. My mouth is non stop, and my brain is off the walls. I cant concentrate, and I have a crazy way of communicating now. My voice is weird, almost like an accent, and I am repeating everything multiple times. I would like to go see Dr. Jones like I've been told I should so many times, but his office is full. However he recommended we see a Dr. in Vermont who would consult with him and maybe take my insurance. I already met the Dr. at the conference and listened to him talk. He saw me in the wheelchair, shaking at the end, and insisted he'd be able to rush us in this week. Today I saw the neurologist, a brain Dr. who was not Lyme friendly, and he suggested this is serious and to hospitalize me at a children's center at either Boston or Dartmouth. He's worried that he can't assist me. However, those two hospitals are not very open to the Disease in it's Chronic form so it would be a battle. Right now we are trying magnetic therapy and other physical and occupational therapies to help out, and my mom is making me an appointment with the recommended Lyme Specialist. We shall see what he thinks for treatment.

High School Assembly

The assembly went really well. It started with the small disappointment that the vice principal went against what we decided and had specific teachers 'sign up' which probably caused confusion and only half the school came down for the assembly. Thats what happens when you aren't there 24/7. They change everything without permission. But aside from that, it was well attended. About 200 Students, over 10 or 15 teachers, and some other staff. I had Dave Hunter from Manchester support group and Nancy Bourrassa from Lyme411 and Lakes Region Support Group there to speak with me, and my new friend Kaity who also has Lyme and lives in the town over, was there. All the students were rowdy so I introduced myself and the assembly,  and told them all to keep quiet. Then Nancy took over talking about the Support Group events like the Timberman Triathlon that we participate in,soon passing it off to Dave. He talked really well about the whole scheme of Lyme. Everyone seemed fairly attentive. We ended with a bang, because I went to the mic. and explained my story. "I was called crazy, a hypochondriac, a liar, that I was mimicking my mother's headaches, by Doctors I trusted and friends I loved." I said. "This is a serious blind illness, and I may stand here today and look normal, but there is a war going on in my body and I will regret this assembly for a week."
Not a soul was moving or breathing, the place was silent, all eyes on me, all shocked gazes baring down on me. I did well, I made my point, I opened there eyes. They all started to move and leave after I said Thank You but many said "I never realized." One teacher asked for a copy of the Lyme Documentary Under Our Skin. Another suggested I privately present to more schools and the health classes more in depth. It was a home run.

Relapse, New Symptoms

So Prom led to overdoing it. My body was overstressed and pushed to far. The Lyme and Bartonella began to attack my brain, leading to convulsions that looked like shivering. I was scared because I couldn't get the shaking in my whole body to stop and my breaths came in choppy. Sunday AM for 3 hours we fought the shakes until Valerian root calmed me enough to sleep. Later, when I woke up, they started again but I took more Valerian root and went fishing with my family. That was a mistake, because the lack of rest led to worse shakes that evening. I took Valerian Root and my mom took a video which I will share the link to, but it took awhile to slow down and I even fought for breath, stopping breathing once and turning slightly purple. I was terrified. This was a bad relapse. Terrible. Maybe herx reaction? No probably just toxic overload in my brain. I barely walked into the house Sunday evening and made my way to bed. Monday morning was an early rise and we were on the Lyme Doctor's doorstep. I was shaking terribly and stopped breathing 4 times, once in front of him. It was a very scary morning, he gave me a valium which worked amazingly and sent me home with a change of antibiotics, from minocin to zithromax, and something to make amoxy stronger, and a relaxing meds which didn't work well and had to be switched to Ativan a day later which worked better and could be taken with Valerian. Now the head shaking is slight, but still there. The worse part is I can move my legs with much effort, but I cannot stand or walk because of the weight on them. They start to cross and turn to Jello and I can't walk. I have ended up on the floor twice, because I thought maybe I could crawl once, and the other time I just forgot. Now I'm just in the slow transition into wheelchair bound. Its scary and sad but Im keeping my head up. For awhile tears kept falling, I cant see my mini horse, I cant really do anything, I still have to push through drivers education classes. Its alot to deal with!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=64dB7nD49kQ

Prom!

I've waited for Prom all my life, It was something where dressing up was acceptable, pushing formal over the edge was preferred, and everyone looked equally beautiful. I had never been to a prom but this year was a dream! I was invited to another school's prom by my boyfriend, a 6'2" Senior football player and track star from a few towns over. I love him, because he looks into my eyes and knows how bad I'm hurting but how much I'm pushing through. We had been planning prom for a few months, and now it was here. After the big High School Assembly I ran I got home and started preparing. I soaked my feet in Epsom salt and did my toenails though I started to feel really sick. Then I showered and dried my hair for the next morning and went to bed anxious.

I got up early, got my hair done for two hours and my makeup. I knew I felt terrible, but I must keep swimming. We stopped by the Lyme walk to take some quick pics and then moved onto heading home because the rain was picking up. The rain was a sad thing. I wanted beautiful pictures! I started praying hard, trying not to cry. I just wanted a perfect prom day! By the time I got sewn into my dress and was already and heading to the photo op the sun peaked out of the clouds and we had gorgeous picture weather. 45 minutes with Tyler's brother and my mother taking many different gorgeous pictures of us. Then off to prom which was a great evening. Afterwards was an after prom party that I had planned to attend, so i changed from my dress, feeling increasingly worse. When we got to the movie theater where the Chemical free prom party was being held, I had to call my mom because I was ready to blow. I was so nauseas and began to shiver. When I got in the car the shivers turned, and started a whole different set of issues. Prom was well worth it though.

High School Assembly

I recently arranged a huge assembly at my High School. Today was the day that I brought in two guest speakers and my best lyme buddie and little brother and we tried to keep the attention span of 200 teenagers. We opened a lot of eyes. Close to the end I got time to do a mini rant and tell my story, expressing how invisible the disease is and the things I've been told by doctors. So many eyes are opened, it was wonderful. I'm so proud of myself for standing up and sharing such personal and painful information with my peers, and really getting the chance to tell them how it is. I have at least 15 other presentations to do at the middle school. That should be loads of fun, and then a few more presentations at the high school health classes and we should be all set. This month is a busy one, but the fact that I'm starting a book and public speaking makes me feel like I'm making a difference.

Candida Overgrowth, Intestinal Yeast

Over the past few weeks I've suffered with severe stomach pain. The emergency room proved uneventful and we just found some small ovarian cysts but nothing to really explain my pain in full. Through talking with a friend and research I started looking into intestinal yeast overgrowth or infection. Its more likely to occur from too much good bacteria dying off due to antibiotics or birth control. I've been on antibiotics for 2 1/2 years and always have stomach issues. Candida can cause stomach pain, indigestion, nausea, acid reflux, headaches, fatigue, dandruff, thrush of the tongue, sore throats and nasal swelling, sleep issues, and ovarian cysts or dysfunctions. Wow, doesn't that cover a lot. :P I thought this made sense, so I looked into it further and my mother and I found a spit test that you do first thing in the AM, which was a great signifier for me, and even a symptoms point based test where I blew positive out of the park. Treatment is lots of magnesium calcium, which i tripled my herbal amounts and added garlic, and started magnesium drinks, also high amounts of pro biotics like yogurt, refrigerated pro biotic drinks, pills before bed, and on top of everything a diet restricting the amount of yeast and sugars, even natural fruity sugars, from diet. The diet is tough, no dairy, light amounts of nuts, reduced yeast, and very small amounts of fruit. Allowed: meat, and vegetables like salad and beans, small amounts of nuts, olive oil, and malto dextrins that are in sugar free flavorings. Whew, this is going to be a fun next few months trying to get my body back on track. google this if you think you may have a Candida issue, its dangerous and quite important to discover for yourself.

The Best Site

This is by far the best informational website I have found. I am immediately mailing it out to everyone I can think of, and all the science teachers in the school! :)

http://autoimmunityresearch.org/lyme-disease/

Check it out!

Lyme Awareness Month is Approaching

Lyme Disease Awareness Month is next month, May, which means that the support groups are ready to start events for it. My local Lakes Region Lyme Support group is meeting with the Governor soon for a photo op of him signing a proclamation that May is Lyme awareness month. On top of that there is continual work occurring on a NH bill to pass legislation that will protect doctors from treating Chronic Lyme Disease with long-term antibiotics. There is a Lakes Region Lyme Disease walk approaching where support members will walk through Laconia wearing their lime green to raise eyebrows. The Wall of Hope is approaching where Lyme members and support people will gather to attract attention and hand out information at the state house in Concord, NH. And on top of it all there is a very large conference with guest speakers and informational handouts along with a representative from Igenex Lab towards the end of May.

On my own calendar I have personal things like prom, and some Lyme awareness events I've put together. I've planned a school wide assembly with guest speakers at both my middle and high schools, presentations to science classes, and even a, Under Our Skin movie showing at the high school cafeteria. Its a great chance for me to speak out about how sick I am and help people grasp the basics of this terrible disease.

April 6, 2011

Hello again. I just wanted to update everyone on how miserable I am. I have been out of school for a solid 2 weeks and getting behind on my honors classes. My stomach has been agitated and I'm not exactly sure whats going on down there but I had another if not a few other Ovarian cysts that ruptured yesterday while I was in the shower. It hurt so bad that I was curled up in a ball on the shower floor almost unconscious, dizzied with the pain. The worst part was it didn't feel like pain but an overall cramp feeling that just disabled me. I have never felt pain like that before and after hobbling to my bed soaking wet and covered in soap, it subsided after 10 minutes. Now i just have general pain and nausea and even acid reflux from my shoulders to my hips. My lower abdomen hurts and aches and stabs when I move, and hurt worse when I lay on my side.

On top of that I've started having a general crampy feeling in other areas. My neck is achy, my hand started cramping up and spasming along with my feet. I feel almost like I have carpal tunnel, tennis elbow, rotator cuff issues, etc. It all just piles up and wears me down. I have sudden bursts of wanting to cry from a Lyme inflicted bout of depression and anxiety. I cant sleep 3/4 of the night and I lie staring at the ceiling. I've tried everything, darkening shades, increasing melatonin and valerian root, sound machines, the radio, keeping the cats out, sitting up more, laying down more, reading before bed, turning off all lights, turning on a light, drinking something warm, clearing my nose out, the list goes on. However, I just stare at the roof for hours on end.

Amazing new WebSite!

Lyme411, the informational center for Lyme Disease. Lyme 411 is the local Lakes Region Lyme Disease Support Group's page, the support group I attend, and the launcher of this site. Check it out! Join the group on either facebook, through e-mail (lyme411@groups.facebook.com), in the yahoo groups section, or here:

www.LYME411.org

:D Copy and Paste link into URL! :)

Dare to be a Daniel

My faith has been one thing I vow to keep up with during my time as a Lyme sufferer and beyond. It gives me strength, hope, purpose, wisdom, and more. I recently found a new program called Dare to be a Daniel for ages 9-14. It's a cute and eye opening way to teach kids how to share the word of God and tell their friends that Jesus loves them! If you are interested at all check it out and create a username. It's confusing at first but the site will bring you through virtual video stories and is quite eye opening. It hits the kids right where they need it most: the FAITH!

http://www.daretobeadaniel.com/users/login/#steps

150 ALS Patients Positive!

This is the newest and greatest article on the market. It explains how in 2009 mosquito's were found to carry Lyme spirochetes, and how likely it is that 150 ALS patients tested positive for lyme 100% of the time. 100%!!!! Please take the time to read it!

http://floridadetox.com/lyme-disease-found-in-100-percent-of-150-als-patients

Copy and Paste link into URL :)

New Video, AMAZING

I didn't realize Lyme was for humans, ticks travel on birds, or ticks can become immune to deet! Is this what you're thinking? The video scrolls a little fast but this new YouTube video is extremely educational on Lyme, and shares a young girl named Victoria's story as well. So sad :( Please take ten quick minutes to watch and learn! It could save you, or just open your eyes!

YouTube - ~7~ SEVEN LYME FACTS THAT COULD HAVE SAVED ME!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ALgOikmjCw

Copy and Paste link into URL :)

New Statistics

Lyme Disease is a fast growing illness, reported at epidemic levels, and the CDC admits that it is under reported, though they do nothing to change it. Recently Under Our Skin, the makers of the amazing Lyme Documentary, Posted newer updated information on the numbers of diseases in the U.S. and Here they are:

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Funderourskin.com%2Fblog%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2011%2F01%2FLyme_Cases_1982-2009.jpeg&h=3647a

Copy and Paste link into URL. :)

Relapse and New Treatment- Pulse Therapy

Since the fall, I have been feeling the brunt of the first true Lyme relapse that I've encountered. i ignored the pain and fatigue and ran through it, and skied through it, and raced through it, and just kept pushing. Then I embraced the Ovarian Cyst surgery, and I just haven't recovered from that. i have been on Rifampin, Amoxy, and Minocin since the fall, and I'm not getting any better. i've exempt myself from a diet and sleep and overstressed about schoolwork and projects and running for student council president for next year. Now my whole body is breaking down and I'm at the end of my rope. I've dealt with depression, passing out, nausea, cysts, inflammation, fatigue, pain in joints and muscles, sleep issues, cramps, tingling, brain fog, euphasia (forgetting words), and so much more. My headache is back full force, and with all the New Hampshire snow storms I'm suffering from the barometric scale dancing around. I have schoolwork shooting out my ears from honors courses and I find it hard to last a full day. I've only run four days since the weather has started to permit it and I feel like I've killed my legs. I'm just sore, tense, and sick. I know other Lymies feel my pain and discomfort, and I've been so concentrated on looking and acting normal and embracing opportunities that I never had when i was home schooled from the Lyme that I just wish I could be 100% forever. I'm very distressed from the depression and I'm let down at the relapse. I've tried to have a positive opinion on things, and I've relied on books and bible studies and friends and family and quotes and positive feedback and praise to keep me going this whole time. Now it's just dissolving at the seams and I feel like crying. I try not to show this side of me to the world, I don't want them to think I'm weak. I push through a lot and this is something that whether I like it or not, I will push through as well. When I returned to the Lyme Doctor a few days ago I told him this, and we decided on a new treatment plan. Dr. Burrascano from NY treats Lyme patients with Pulse Therapy. The idea is that Lyme hides in the body, and by starting med.s for a few months and either switching antibiotics or stopping, then starting again you can kill multiple forms, stages, and types of Lyme Disease. I stopped all my medicines that are pushing the Lyme into hiding, and we are waiting for me to get as sick as possible. When the bugs are out of hiding in a few weeks we won't worry about slowly building up, we will start all four abx (Rifampin, Plaquenil, Minocin/Minocycline, and Amoxycillin) at once and hit this bug like a nuclear bomb. I have hope that this will work, even though I have a feeling the herx reactions will be tough. All I need now is prayer.

Coccyx or Tail Bone Problems

Last year in January I was exempt from horseback riding due to tail bone pain that we called pilonidal cysts. The cysts and glands were all surgically cleaned out and removed and i dealt with additional hyper trophic scarring issues. Basically the skin scarred irregularly, probably from the Lyme, and was raised and painful, pulling at the tissue around it. I proceeded to seek Cranial Sacrael Therapy which massaged the tissues to soften them up, and keep a silicone 'scar away' scar patch, kind of like a band aid, on the scar which led to it ultimately softening up. By the end of summer I was still suffering from deep tail bone pain that was located at the tip of the tail bone, or the coccyx. I tried to work through it to horseback ride, but it wouldn't work. It was far too painful and I found myself consciously leaning to one side or the other when I would sit to avoid or reduce pain. I attempted to snowboard this past January, and after a few falls on the hard snow, right on my tail bone of course, I changed back to skis and gave up. After the snow boarding I had such bad pain from sitting or moving around that I returned to the surgeon. She said I could have broke or bruised the bone and sent me to an orthopedic specialist to get it looked at. We took ex rays and conclusive bone CAT scan which proved no visible break. He was not willing to do a Coccygectomy or surgery to remove the coccyx bone because he claimed it was unnecessary and would cause additional issues. I am still suffering with pain, which my Lyme Doctor claims is just Lyme Inflammation. So After my most recent Lyme Doctor Appt I picked up some Capsaicin .1% Arthritis cream made of menthol and chili peppers to try a new idea. basically i'm applying the cream twice a day to my tail bone area, and the extreme burning sensation is supposed to exhaust the nerves after a few days and reduce the pain. I have to apply it four times a day, suffer from severe burning, and wait for possible relief. It has proven to work before, but will it work for me? We will have to see. it's very uncomfortable, and painful, but not unbearable to return to horseback riding (if it works). I may be skeptical but it seems like a worthy idea, and I'm willing to try anything while i wait for my Appt. with a pain specialist.

Ovarian Cysts

Through the ski season I felt a strong rib pain that i thought was fr4om a tumble I took at a race practice the week before. It turned out this 'rib pain' that we thought was a fracture, then pleurisy, was actually a tennis ball sized (6 cm) ovarian cyst on my right ovary. It was large enough that it led me to the ER, thinking it was appendicitis, and then shocked an ultrasound technician when we discovered it was offsetting my uterus. In early February I went in for a laparoscopic cystectomy to remove the cyst. Everything seemed alright and the GYN said my ovary should be fine. In two weeks I was cleared to do whatever I wanted and had the stitches taken out, and I returned to school the following Monday. After taking it slow for awhile i was able to go skiing and my abs started feeling 100% again. I have three small incisions, one invisible one in my bellybutton, one on my lower left side along the pant line that might be the only visible one, and one in the center on the bikini line. The surgery may have been small, but was still a surgery, and threw my whole body off. I suffered with pain for a little while, and dealt with nausea and swelling at the site of the surgery. After the two week mark I tried to return to school once but couldn't make it and instead waited until the following Monday so I had the weekend to rest. I suffered with a lot of bleeding after the actual surgery, but it went away within a week and I was only left with cramps. A month later I had the worst period cramps ever, but they were followed with 7 days of heavy bleeding and then they cleared up after that. You may be asking why mine was removed when most people's burst or are reabsorbed. Mine had plagued me with symptoms for two months, was fairly large, and keeping me from school. Therefor we decided not to take the step of waiting to see if it would reabsorb. I thought I felt multiple cysts since then, and upon returning to the GYN we decided it could have been, but since she did an ultrasound and didn't see anything more, we would keep an eye on it. An option for me would be to go on birth control because it helps reabsorb cysts and reduce how many arrive. However, birth control and antibiotics both reduce each other's effectiveness and we decided instead of throwing my body off, we would treat the Lyme and put my on a diet. A few natural things we are now going to try to keep the cysts at bay- keep my weight in the lower range of my BMI, apply progesterone cream to my inner forearms mid-cycle to assist with hormone regulation, reduce caffeine, sugars, lactose, and increase exercise. We shall see overtime how this will work.

Alpine Ski Racing

Joining the Alpine Race team was one of the biggest steps I've ever taken in life. An amazing article in the newspaper one January led me to my first lesson with full rentals at Gunstock Ski Resort in Gilford, NH. I was scared, but it came completely natural to me and after my first run down the beginner's slope I was hooked on the adrenaline rush and speed. I only hit the slopes two more times that season, once with a professional to give me additional pointers and once with my aunt who lived nearby the resort and was a life long lover of skiing. The season ended with my promise that I would improve enough, no matter what it took, to race the following year. When fall hit I started talking with the school's alpine coach and getting pointer's for what it would take to be on the team. She asked me if I could stand on skis, and when I responded with the obvious answer, she informed me that was great, and I could count myself a new member of the team. It was my sophomore year now, in High school, and I'd dealt with Lyme Disease long enough to know what a great opportunity this was to push through my illness. Within my first year of ever skiing, and over three years of being plagued with a disabling disease like so, I found myself at the Gunstock Ski sale buying equipment for the upcoming race season. My family scraped our piggy banks to buy me a season's night pass, boots, a helmet, and snow pants and we were blessed to have skis, poles, and goggles given to me. I had passion for the sport that was indescribable, and a month in advance I started long distance running to build stamina for the races. Our on-ground practices showed I was also a fast learner of roller blading down the paved hill behind the school. The day of our first snow practice we all buckled our gear on, hopped on the chairlift, and climbed to the summit of Gunstock's face, greeted by a gorgeous view and even a water color sunset. Three weeks later I had my first race, a small race, and I was scared. Out of a little over 60 girls, I placed about 40th, and was surprised at my natural ability (other then a small slip half way up the course that slowed me down). People were asking for my name and when they heard I was a first timer to racing there jaws dropped. I was a superior natural. In between practices and races I had major issues with Lyme Disease, and even Ovary problems that could have led to me to lose my ovary at one practice, but I pushed through with determination and love for the cool air. The highlight of my season, a time when I knew all my hard work and passion boiled down to raw talent, was the lakes region invitational race at Gunstock. Being my third race ever, and plagued with a 6 cm ovarian cyst, I expected it to be possibly my last race of the season. I carved up the slopes that day, and placed within the top 25 for the GS race, and number 19 for the SL race. Never did I think I'd accomplish such a break through that day. If it wasn't for the opportunity just a year before, where Gunstock provided me with the opportunity to try the sport for free, a full Mountain Magic Pass in that 'Learn To Ski Free Week', then I wouldn't have experienced such a miracle. Gunstock provided me with the most incredible accomplishment I have felt so far, at just 15 years old, and I hope to pass the encouragement on to many others. From bed ridden to racing down an icy slope, Alpine Skiing is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

A Relapse in Time

The fatigue came a few weeks after I had hiked to the second tallest mountain in NH one day in Mid-August. The first week in September I returned to school after a long five day weekend in Upstate New York which was utter paradise and a dream come true. Then the headache started a week later, and my stomach began to beat me up. My neck started to ache, and my whole body wanted to sleep. I spoke with my economics teacher about joining the High School Alpine Race Team, and I set my mind to train for that. My Lyme Doctor encouraged the exercise, but my body didn't. However I stopped coming off my med.s and stayed on the final one with a plan to go back on them since I was feeling worse. Before I even started to go back on the second antibiotic again, I developed severe depression. All the classic symptoms, fatigue, mood swings, random bouts of tears, wanting to give up, etc were pounding me into the ground. I was told to exercise, saw a chance to train for skiing, and started running daily with a friend. That was difficult, because i hate running, but i'll save most of that explanation for another post. I knew I was relapsing, but skiing was coming, and I had to train, and school was full swing, there was no way I was going to accept it. I stayed in denial.

Catching Up

I have not been on here in a little over a year, and I'm sorry to my followers for that. The next series of posts will be an attempt to catch everyone up on what I've been dealing with. I haven't had the brain power to post but I'm going to suffer through it for now. Here goes, starting with a quick run over of last summer. Basically, last year at this time, so around March, I started on four antibiotics. I had been on three of which I don't recall which ones (I think Plaquenil, Biaxin, Amoxy) for three months since the beginning of January, but they didn't seem to really do too much more than any other treatment I'd been on. That March was a big month for me. I started on Amoxy, Minocycline, Rifampin, Plaquenil and the usual Cat's Claw, Artemesia, and Andrographis herbs. My pills numbered in the sixties per day, but I just kept chugging. By May, I had never felt so well in my life. I was back to a full swing teenagers lifestyle, the tail bone surgery was healed 100% and the hyper trophic or raised scarring I had was softening up (I still have tail bone pain), even my headache that I'd had for 2 1/2 years with no relief, had subsided. On return to the Lyme Doctor in June we decided I was cured, the 'C' word, and started to take me off med.s two months later. That was sure great, and I felt amazing, even accomplishing a hike to the top of Mt. Lafayette, the second highest mount in NH, in August. As golden as things felt with full time school around the corner, a new boyfriend who took the cake, and health, things started to go back down hill that fall. At first I didn't want to admit it, but I have accepted now, month's later, that I've fully relapsed.